


Our Castle and Our Keep

by sonicshambles



Category: The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 18:11:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5466044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonicshambles/pseuds/sonicshambles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At one point it made sense that Emma and Phil shared a flat. At one point they almost got along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Castle and Our Keep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tibby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tibby/gifts).



When Affers moved out it was the beginning of the end for Emma and Phil's living situation. They didn't need a third flatmate to cover expenses and neither wanted to go through the trouble of finding one so the room sat empty. Without any buffer between their shared inability to tolerate the other it quickly became apparent that their lives would be better lived apart or as apart as two people who still saw each other at work every day could get. 

It was a decision made calmly and rationally, two qualities they rarely displayed in their interactions. Emma was proud enough of them to depart on her move out day with a handshake and not completely cold "I'll see you at the office on Monday."

It was a relief for many reasons, not least of which was she would no longer have to answer the question of why they ever lived together. Or struggle to answer it and never quite get there other than a mumbled at one time it made sense. At one point they got along.

* * *

When Emma was first assigned to Peter Mannion's office she shared the flat with two friends, both of whom were recently engaged and would be moving out within the year. She was nice to Phil at first because he was someone Peter seemed to like and trust and she wanted Peter to like and trust her. It was hard to find anything to bond with Phil over. He sneered when she didn't know his letter opener was a replica of one of the swords from Lord of the Rings and laughed when she stated she didn't know that there were important swords in Lord of the Rings. She tried to use her passing familiarity with Harry Potter as a way to smooth things over and potentially bond but it just resulted in a disagreement on how feasible it would be to integrate the wizarding world and its politics into modern day England and the current political climate. 

Things finally took a turn for the better when Emma realized Phil went to uni with her older brother. The two had even been friends and involved in many of the same clubs together. The label of John Messinger's younger sister was one she fought very hard to never let stick to her but whereas Phil kept trying to steal the projects assigned to Emma he was eager to have drinks after work with John and John's younger sister.

John also worked for the party but in the office of a more respected MP and in a position that commanded more respect. John was lovingly described as dedicated and ambitious by their parents who in the next breath said the same about Emma with an apologetic tone to their voice. They thought it was quaint at first when she entered into the same world as her brother but when that world led to working almost every day of the week and most evenings and happily missing the type of social gatherings her mother arranged in order to find her a husband it was suddenly a cause for concern. John assured everyone in the family he kept an eye on her but in truth they rarely spoke and there were people who interacted with both of them who had no idea they were siblings.

Emma was good at keeping her alcohol consumption at a minimum when around coworkers but the prospect of even one hour in the company of John and Phil called for a second glass of wine before the first was even finished and a third immediately following that. She tuned in and out of the conversation that was mostly the two men laughing at the more unfortunate exploits of mutual acquaintances but it finally turned on her. John asked what working with her was like and Phil gave the stiffest and politest of polite responses. John pushed too hard in his attempts to drag her down when he couldn't stop laughing as he described how she would wander around their home as a child pretending to be Margaret Thatcher. Phill's response to that was that if more little girls were like that the country would be in better shape. 

Emma decided right then she would try harder to be his friend. Three months later when she was notified by both flatmates on the same day that she would need to fill both rooms in sixty days Phil was the first person she asked to take one of them. She knew he was living with an aunt he hated and it was no surprise when he jumped at the chance. Not wanting the third room to go to waste and not being able to find anyone at the office who wanted to live with both of them they placed an ad and Affers was offered the third room by virtue of being the only applicant neither of them hated.

* * *

Minus the tone deaf jokes from Peter about them playing house together it was nice at first. They had breakfast together in the morning and tried to make sure there was something in the kitchen to make an easy supper if one was working too many late nights. There were always issues: Emma considered most of Phil's favorite entertainment to be beneath her and anyone else with taste and he criticized every aspect of her life, especially her dating habits. But for awhile they made it work.

He held her hair back when she spent the night sick after the office Christmas party and made her the tea in the morning that his mother swore by to cope with her frequent hangovers. She made it through one full episode of Battlestar Galactica before storming off at the premise of a low ranking official becoming President. 

"She's a strong female leader!"

"She's a teacher!"

* * *

It was a truth universally acknowledged that Ollie made everything worse. Phil raged at his presence and Emma raged back. Any time he was there for an extended period of time it was awkward. Phil found her one night pacing the hallway outside their bedrooms as the muffled sounds of pleading could be heard from her room.

"What's going on?"

"Malcolm."

Phil's face turned even more white than his usual ghostly pale. 

"He's not in there is he?"

"What?! How dim are you? Of course not. He's on the phone with Ollie. I'm apparently not allowed to listen to a conversation happening in my own bedroom."

"You didn't leave your laptop on again did you?"

"Fuck!"

"Yeah. See. Who's dim now?"

"Shut up, Phil."

Emma stormed back into her room and Phil scurried back into his just as everything got very loud.

* * *

The morning started with Emma and Ollie breaking up for the eight time over breakfast in her kitchen. That afternoon she got a text from him that read "I really never want to speak to you again but as a parting gift there is a folder on Phil's desktop labeled Very Important. Open it and enjoy."

He received a scathing voice message on the subjects of privacy, boundaries, and what a twat he was in return. But when Emma heard Phil say he was staying late at the office that night she took it as an opportunity to see what Ollie was going on about. 

The next morning she waited for Phil and even poured him what was left of the coffee before she went for the jugular.

"Do you know how you're always saying I never read anything and I'm so uncultured?"

"Yes because you don't and you are."

"Well I decided to take your advice to heart and spent all night reading the most amazing story last night."

"Oh?"

"Yes, I think you'd like it. It's very much your kind of story. Very much."

She stared at him and looked for any clue he knew where the conversation was going. Phil stared at his coffee.

"What's it called?"

"I don't remember but it sounded very important. It was about a brave night named Phildo and his adventures in the name of his beloved King Mannionous. Oh and a tavern wench named Emma which fuck you, Phil. No member of my family has EVER been wench level. And I can't believe you had me beheaded because my inn keeper husband Oliver couldn't lift a sword."

She watched his exhausted mind put the whole thing together and then he was on his feet and waving an arm at her. It would have looked threatening if not for the fact she thought he always looked ridiculous in his robe.

"Why were you on my laptop?"

"Because Mister Emma Leaves Everything Around for Ollie To Find you left yours open in the sitting room the other night and Ollie found your file. The whole thing was so exciting to him he needed to tell me about it even though we broke up."

"How much did he read?"

"I have no idea but I read every word. I'll never be able to look at Malcolm Tucker again without picturing him as a giant dragon."

"You didn't already? I mean - you had no right to read anything on my computer."

"'Oh don't worry. I didn't open your web browser. There are so many things about you I don't want to know anything about. The very vivid descriptions of King Mannionous were enough. Now if you'll excuse me I need to get ready for work. My tavern awaits."

"When my book sells more copies than Game of Thrones you're going to be honored I included you."

* * *

When the election results came in and they realized they were moving into power albeit power that would be shared and that for them would be enjoyed at DoSAC, they shared an awkward hug. 

"I'm glad your writing hobby didn't ruin this for us."

"I'm glad your Ollie hobby didn't either."

* * *

They would never be friends but there were moments after they stopped being flatmates when Emma would sit in her quiet flat, peaceful at the thought she wouldn't have to change the channel because a new episode of Doctor Who was on, and miss him just a little. It would pass, usually very early on in the workday when a disagreement over anything got heated, but the recurrence of it lingered for a long time. It was responsible for the rare acts of kindness between them, usually when no one was looking.

She found him one day sulking in an empty office with a crumpled letter on the desk in front of him. 

"What's that?"

"None of your business."

She reached for it anyway and he grabbed it off the table.

"It's a rejection letter from a publisher....It's my fourth one."

"Want some advice?"

"From you? No."

"Lose the tavern wench who was clearly too refined for that position."

"Ha. She's in the book for five pages, no one would notice if she was there or not."

Emma rolled her eyes and went to walk away but the look on his face tugged at the very dormant sympathetic part of her. 

"One more piece of advice. Have the inn keeper and the dragon die much more horrible deaths than they do. I think you should make them both really suffer."

He stared at her for a long time. 

"I - thank you - that's actually good advice."

"Imagine that."

Stewart found them there and they were rushed off to a meeting in a hurricane of dire emergencies that needed their attention. Their brief moment of friendship lasted all of five minutes and after a flurry of insults between them Emma slunk down into her chair. Adam turned to her with a curious look on his face.

"Did you two really used to share a flat?"

"It seemed like a good idea once."

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Yuletide! I really loved writing about these two and exploring how they ever ended up sharing a home. I also loved your prompt about Phil writing a fantasy novel so I had to incorporate that somehow.


End file.
